Things I love about living in Korea

I’ve recently been feeling a bit down, in the sense of ‘oh my goodness get me OUT OF HERE NOW!’ kind of way. I’ve got two months to go, but I’m (very) tired of my high school students’ rude, obnoxious attitudes. I’ve also been fighting a cold for about two weeks on top of REM-deprivation. Thus, I decided it was time to sit down and write out a list of all the things that I really like or love about living in Korea. For the next 2-4 months, this is what I will be focusing on. During my flight home though? aaaalll the things that I can’t stand about being here! 😀

Here we go:

• cute little things from students like what I found on my desk this morning

• futsal- I love playing futsal with the futsal gang. I’ve missed it the last 3 weeks due to said cold and a ‘business trip’, but futsal is great fun. also one of the few ways I can bribe myself into doing any running.
• cafes- hot chocolates, mint hot chocolates, sweet potato lattes, pumpkin lattes, green tea lattes, the whole cafe vibe…. oh yes
• the sunshine- it’s a lot sunnier here on average than back in New England, especially in the winter.
• public transportation/not needing a car- no subways in my city, but the buses are frequent, and although packed quite often, generally cleaner than the buses I experienced in New York. It’s also believed to be a lot safer. I never had problems back home, but… well, it’s said to be safer. Also, cheaper. And, on time- here’s looking at YOU, Amtrak.
• paycheck to expenses ratio- great, beautiful ratio
• the internet- 5 gigs of movies in 20 minutes? yes please.
• mandu- dumplings: tasty, easy, cheap, common.
• sweet red bean paste- doughnuts, ‘fish’ bread (just in shape!), or the little waffle-iron bread, or the steamed buns… yummy
• peppero, soon to be known as pocky again, and for 3x the price
• mart chocolate (ghana bars! I will miss you!)
• ondol- LOVELY floor heating. when it’s really cold in winter, just turn the ondol on, grab a thin blanket and snuggle up on the floor
• goguma everything- sweet potato lattes (as stated), various forms of sweet potato chips, and even sweet potato pizza. I actually came into the office today and there was a bag of purple crisps. I was hesitant, wondering ‘just how far can you take the goguma’, but they are DELICIOUS (and ps ube ice cream (purple sweet potato) is also amazing, but that I’ve found only in the philippines)
• the market- farmers’ market meets community tag sale meets steroids meets crack. plus ajummas. but I love it anyway, and they have great produce.
• Korea is tiny- so tiny, that if you NEED to get from one almost-corner of the country (say, my city) to the other corner of the country (say, Seoul), and it’s an emergency you can KTX it in ~2.5 hours, bus it in 4 (although I think it’s technically supposed to take 5-6), or take the normal train, but why would you bother when even the KTX is still under US$50?
• close to the ocean- no matter where you are, because Korea is tiny. and even though it’s cold most of the year, and still barely warm enough to properly swim in in the summer, it’s always nice to be near the ocean
• walking home, alone, through crooked dark alleyways at 3am and….. not really caring.
• the stupid foreigner card- oh, you’re soliciting? sorry, I don’t speak Korean, obvs!
• the random festivals just because- like the apple festival that I’m going to this weekend. I love apples. Why SHOULDN’T I be allowed to celebrate them with a festival?
• the friendly older people that want to buy you coffee or give you a discount just because you’re white. (I’d say foreign, but the non-white people I’ve met don’t seem to have as many stories of it.)
• cheap(er) holidays to southeast asia- beautiful ocean, beaches, tropical weather and cheap shopping? For a 4-hour flight ranging from US$300-US$800 instead of a 14-hour flight that costs a grand and a half? I can deal with that.
• triangle kimbap! tuna-kimchi is the best, but the bbq chicken (resembling nothing of bbq chicken) is also great
• Korean-Chinese food- black bean sauce/jjajang/짜장 over fried rice is the bomb

Another batch of ‘Students say the Darndest Things’

officially the new ‘most awkward moment’. Third grade middle school, same age as US high school freshmen. Each class, I pick one student to ‘introduce’ the lesson. They come to the front, read the date, what period it is, and the plan for the day, and sit back down. I have their roster, and I just work my way down the list, nothing special. All students in Korea have numbers; a lot of teachers will use that instead of their names.

“Hellooo everyone. Ok, who do we have today… 22! Who is 22?”

Half of the classroom bursts out laughing- the half with boys. I get a chaotic outburst of the following types of ‘sentences’, with LOTS of hand signs, just in case I didn’t understand:
‘teacha, between leg!!!!!’ (this was the one usually accompanied by the hand symbols)
‘sex boy!!’
‘boy, no class!! sit!’

preeetty sure my face turned red.

~

one of my first grade female HS students:
Student: oh teacher, very beautiful today
Me: oh, thank you -_-
Student: I like smell!
Me: um…
S’s friend: bye bye teacher!!

~

a 2nd grade HS girl, Minyoung, who always comes in and says hi:
Teacha, your birthday…. 6-wohl [month, ie June], ee-ship [20]….
me: 5
MY: oh, 5!
me: why do you know that?…

~

one of my faaaaavorite high school students (granted, there are so few), Yerimy:
Y: oh, teacher! hi! I find- found my name card! [I give students a ‘name card’ that they can get hold punches in; 7 and they come get a ‘prize’ from my desk in the office]
Me: um, why is this part *points* wet?
Y: oh, uh *mimes brushing teeth*
Me: ah, ok… so, do you want this name card or this one?
Y: oh, new one. 5 stamp please! ^^
Me: but your old one is so pretty! [she has her name all curly-written, a baseball, and an orange kitten face drawn on there]
Y: no teacher, new one, blank.
Me: ok then *stamps her new paper* Hey, you had a listening test today, right?
Y: oh yes………
Me: So how was it?
Y: very bad teacher, oh no… >_>
Me: uh oh. well, –
Y: difficult hear, teacher!! English!
Me: well, yes. it’s English class.
Y: oh teacher, what is here? *points* o_o
Me: ‘napping’? ah, sleep- daytime sleep. Night sleep, sleep. Day sleep, napping.
Y: and, this word- conperenseh….
Me: ‘conference’. meeting.
Y: oh no! >_<‘
Me: mmhm, meeting. well, meeting with business people.
Y: oh no, I give wrong answer! @_@
Me: hehe, oops. that’s ok. 🙂
Y: oh, noooo, wrong answer! So difficult!
Me: heh, yep, your listening tests are difficult.
Y: so much English!
Me: well, yea, English class, remember? 😉
Y: oh no, but I am Korean.
Me: haha yes, I see that-
Y: I’m not English native! +_+
Me: But you are English *student* 😀
Y: I am Korean native!! XD
Me: haha
Y: sooo muuuch Englishhhhh…
Me: see you tomorrow 😉

Not Dead: some AtM anecdotes to prove it!

So… No, actually I don’t really have an excuse for not writing ANYTHING here in months. My apologies (and infinite thanks) to the 4 people who have said you enjoy reading this, and my pseudo-apologies to anyone else who does, but hasn’t said so.

Anyway, 4 little anecdotes that have made my Monday a GREAT start to this week for now, and I’ll think back and try to recap anything interesting from the last couple months. Oh, and for you who check my facebook first, these are pretty much directly copied from there, sorry, nothing new for you yet.

1. Nemo, my by-far smallest 2nd grade middle school student earned 7 stars in class today (7 stars, they get to pick a prize from my desk- chips, bubbles, a fan or some such). He’s one of the higher level students and is amazingly outgoing and self-confident (especially for being so small) and is basically just a popular little crazyboy. You can’t help but love him, even on the days, like today, where he spends the first fiveminutes of class singing at the top of his lungs. The class ends and I’m trying to collect all my things (papers, folder, pencil, USB, tea thermos, and candy bag) and walk him over to the HS teachers’ office to trade in for his prize. While I’m gathering things, he picks up my sweater jacket, and instead of handing it to me, puts it on. Needless to say, he’s completely swimming in it, but walked with it on all the way to the HS office, where he took it off and folded it neatly over my chair. On the way over he told me he was a boxer now, and jabbed from the cafeteria building to the HS.

.

2. One of the HS girls that used to come in and say hi allthe time has recently taken up that habit again, not to my distaste. She’s got very little English, but when she’s not whiningshe can be a real laugh. I have my hair up in a stick today, and she comes over, miming cutting her hair and asking ‘teacha, haircut?’ I laugh and tell her it’s all still here, just tied back, and turn around and point to my hair (since she probably didn’t understand any of what I said after ‘haha, no’). She tells me my hair (or the knot) is very pretty then says ‘me, me’ and turns around and offers me her hair. My hair stick today is new, and shorter than I’m used to, so there’s no way I’m taking it out at school. Instead I get out a pen to use for her hair, but I’ve never done this on someone else before, and it was as tricky as I’d feared, especially since her hair is all product-y or something. I’m twisting and she’s ‘ow ow teacha!’ing (the twisting can pull your hair) but I finish and it actually looks really darn nice for my first try and a red pen. She’s ‘oh thank you thank you teacha’ and walks over to the mirror to check herself out. She then proceeds to smack her hair around until the knot falls out. Walks over, and returns the pen ‘ok bye bye teacha, thank- teacha what funny?’

I wasn’t sure how to remind her that she just spent a solid minute punching herself in the head.

.

.

3. Same student as in the last story (her name by the way is MinYoung) comes over and asks me about lunch. This is also the third or so time she’s done that, since I don’t eat in the cafeteria anymore and apparently she’s noticed. I point to my now-empty tupperware that just housed the last of some leftover mexicany beans, rice, and salsa, and yes, it smelled delicious still.
minyoung: ‘Teacha, shiksa [lunch]? korea rice, delicious! why no?’
me: I did eat lunch. Here is my lunch. *shows her my tupperware*
minyoung: teacha! no, shiksa, rice!!
me: I did eat rice! see? look *holds up the tupperware* see? smell- delicious!
minyoung: oh, teacha, ok! spaghetti!
me: no, not spaghetti- rice! rice and salsa.
*at this point her friend/constant companion looks over, her name is wongyeong, and I gesture her to come over too, partly since her english is a bit better*
me: hey, come here, smell. Delicious, right?
wongyeong: oh, smell… ok. ketchup *says this dismissively and walks away*
me: NOT ketchup, you crazy? hey, smell- no ketchup, no spaghetti
minyoung: haha, teacha crazy… *smells again* ummmm teacha… spaghetti…

me: no- salsa. saaaalsa. spaghetti is different

minyoung: teacha, is spaghetti. *pats my arm* Ok, bye bye!

.

.

‎4. a 3rd grader (high school) I know as Anne Hathaway who also frequents the teachers’ office comes up, holding a tea bag to me with her arm extended. She is normally incredibly friendly, quite perky and chatty on her happy days, but even a good ‘try-er’ attitude on her down days (eg when she has a test coming up, or she’s very tired or very hungry or very cold)

anne: tea.
me: ok….. i see tha-
anne: teacha nokcha [green tea] good. boseong [a place korean-famous for its green tea fields] nokcha.
me: yes, that’s very nice nok-
anne: teacha like nokcha?
me: yes, of course. but is it barley nokcha or nokcha nokcha?
anne: *understandably confused by the word ‘barley’* uhhh
me: i love green tea, see? *takes out jar of green tea from desk*
anne: oh teacha! where nokcha?!?
me: china tea
anne: oh I hate you china teacha…
me: what??
anne: china no, boseong nokcha is very good.
me: *takes out tin of black tea* see? more tea. black tea- hongcha. i like tea.
anne: teacha, where tea?
me: china t-
anne: nooooo, teacha. *shaking her head sadly, and very patronizingly, while I’m trying not to laugh* china tea no… KOREA tea… see, igeotneun [‘this’ish, in korean, gesturing to her teabag] very easy *dips in midair*
me: ah, but… *show her my super-awesome tea thermos with strainer* this very easy. and this is very easy too *I take out some bad rose tea I bought awhile ago when I was looking for and couldn’t find a replacement for the good stuff; it’s bagged*
anne: oh, rose-uh!! hmmm… but this (her green tea bag) Korea tea very easy. this cold tea.
me: what?
anne: cold tea. china tea, hot tea. korea tea, cold tea.
me: umm…
anne: Korea tea sooooo easy
me: well, this is very easy, see? *put some green tea in my strainer, since I want to make some post-lunch tea anyway*
anne: noooo… teacha cup?
me: sure, come on *I give her a cup and fill up my tea thermos* See? so easy
anne: *fills up her little cup halfway with cold water, and plops the rose tea bag in* this easy too. see? finish.
me: but-
anne: thank you teacha bye bye Korea tea is easy! Korea nokcha! *exits*
me: ……..

So that’s what it takes to be respected.

It’s no surprise to anyone who’s read this before that my students can have…. challenging attitude/behavioral issues. Despite that (or perhaps because of it), my school’s always seemed pretty laid back when it comes to discipline. The students get away with loads that would never fly ‘back home’, or in other Korean schools, although you will see a line of yoga positions outside the teachers’ office from time to time.

However, this morning, after almost a year and a half here, as I was standing in front of the copier waiting for it to finish churning out my worksheets, I witnessed something new. I heard a teacher out in the hall yelling at some student (that part’s not new), and he jammed his finger towards the ground, probably yelling at him to get down with the yoga.  And that was when I saw something I simply didn’t believe at first. The teacher kicked the student. Now, I’m not talking a superbowl field goal, but still, we’re not talking a love tap on the butt out of fun either. He solidly kicked the student. I should also mention that (in addition to the already dehumanizing act that it is to quite literally kick a person while he’s down), Koreans and probably a lot of other easterners have this thing about feet and shoes. They’re always dirty. Even if they’re clean. It’s just considered a dirty part of the body, and you don’t really put your feet near something of any significance. But here this kid is, being kicked like a dog.

So I’m standing by the copier still, stunned, and the student gets kicked a few more times. The teacher is still yelling at him, and the student stands up and the both come into the teachers’ office where, this time, the student gets slapped clear across the face. Again, not a gentle slap. Still yelling. Teacher raises his hand again, and the student tries to shield his face. More yelling, the student lowers his hands, and gets his ears boxed. Eventually, after a bit more yelling, the student is sent into the hallway in the normal yoga position.

I have heard that this happens at Korean schools, but this is my first time to witness physical punishment as excessive as this. And yea, I’m sure (sadly sure) that it happens much, much worse elsewhere. I’ve seen yelling here. I’ve seen some hitting. And I’ve probably seen enough yoga to open my own studio. But this was my first time seeing a teacher strike a student in such apparent anger. No surprise though, that not one of the other teachers blinked an eye.

By the way, to wrap this up, I also know this student. Know of him, I suppose- I don’t know him nearly as well as most, but unless he’s seriously hiding his inner-rebel, I don’t really see him mouthing off to a teacher, or getting nabbed for smoking in the bathroom. But who knows what prompted the ‘discipline’. My only conclusion is this:

If that’s what it takes to be respected around here by all the students, I forfeit that claim as a ‘teacher’ figure.

Progress

One day, early on in the semester, when pondering over my difficulties with my 2-2 class (second grade high school, class/homeroom 2), I had this seemingly brilliant idea: divide and conquer. I wanted to make a smart historical reference, but I’m terrible at history so I looked it up just now: the two top examples google gave me of men who employed this strategy were not very encouraging in the long run (Napoleon and Stonewall Jackson). Anyway, I thought I would divide the classes into groups of 5 or 6 students, because these classes cannot be taught as a whole- they are too… too many things. However, when I would go around helping individuals, or a couple students at a time, we actually got a lot done, and they learned.

“So if you thought it was such a great idea, and even had the beginnings of solid proof, why didn’t you thoroughly implement the structure?”
…why indeed? T_T Partly because I had so little (in-class) support from my co-teacher, and I’m not able to explain to the students how class would be structured, and partly (I’ll admit it) because I’ve been really disorganized. But today I decided to plunge right in, without bothering to explain to the class what’s happening.

It. Was. Magical.

From my halfhearted attempts at this method I’ve already tried, I’ve learned that this works best with 3 or 4 students. Could be 2 (but that’s a little inefficient at that point), but 5 is too many.

I just finished a lesson about telling time… which took up 5 classes. But, I want to be giving them practical things that they might actually use in their future. And seeing as how I believe it practical, I want them to actually learn it. I decided that the next topic for them would be getting sick or hurt, and so today I started with some basic body parts.  I started with the students with better attitudes, to go easy on myself, which meant 2 boys and a girl up front. I spent maybe 15 minutes with them, gave them the ‘worksheet’ (outline of a body and a picture of some baby, labeled in English), and they wrote the appropriate Korean for it. About half the words were new, which had been my guess. Next I had them pronounce the words, and then I quizzed them, and had them quiz each other for 2 minutes. After they did that, I gave just the 3 of them a speed quiz, kept points, and gave them all rewards at the end (2 hole-punches to the winner, and 1 to the other students).

When we were finished, I scooted my chair over to some other students; 4 this time. Gave them the English pictures, had them write the Korean, quiz, quiz each other, speed quiz, reward. I wrapped up that group with just over 5 minutes left in the period, so not enough time to move on and tackle another set of students. So I asked them instead what time it was. And you know what? They answered. Then I looked over at the boys goofing off with their friends, and pointed to my elbow (one of the new words for the students). And you know what he said? ‘elbow’.

If any of this sounds stiff or joyless, I apologize. I was and still am so intensely pleased with this accomplishment. But I started writing just after the class, and then I got interrupted with, you know, work… and now I’ve just come back from giving 32 middle school students 32 speaking tests in “45 minutes”. My head is spinning and my co-teacher is most definitely insane. Any eloquence I might have had dissipated in the chaos of running, chanting, and freaking-out students. In a perfect world (or with fluent students), 32 speaking tests MIGHT be able to be done in 45 minutes. MIGHT.

*dies*

AtM: tears of…

I almost cried today. Although there have been loads of times I’ve almost cried at work/school (and one time I actually did cry, thank goodness it was the end of the day), this is the first time it hasn’t been from frustration.

Ladies and gentlemen, that day is upon us once again. The day that should have far more recognition in the States (and elsewhere). Parents’ Day passed a week or so ago, and Children’s along with it (they’re in the beginning of May), but May 15th is a very special day called…..*drumroll*……..  Teachers’ Day!  This year it’s on a Tuesday (tomorrow).

So, my anecdote: I just came back down to the teachers’ office from my 2-2 class (that class), so I’m feeling pretty worn and frayed.  Utter disregard in that room, and I still can’t bring myself to totally not care (hence the frustration and stress). Anywho, in the office I see one of my third graders, a girl with a name that has three syllables (it’s a big deal- Korean names almost ALWAYS have two syllables). She’s a nice girl- good attitude, pretty motivated, and willing to take some chances. She’s got this basket to knickknacks that look like some sort of fake bouquets that she’s sifting through. So I walk up to her, joking, and tell her ‘wow, you have a very good boyfriend!’

“No, no teacha- oh, wait- this is for you!” And she hands me a ribbon-wrapped pen with big red felt flowers (what I know to be carnations- that’s what you give a teacher on teachers’ day), and a yellow giraffe head with a message on the back:

 

Dear 고사리* teacher
Hello teacher?
I’m a third grade
student Yerimy. Thank
you for giving pleasant
and energetic class to us.
I’m always thank you.

 

So. Obviously.

IF I HAVE ANY FRIENDS LEFT IN HIGH SCHOOL (OR YOU UNI FRIENDS)- GO THANK YOUR TEACHERS!!!! Even if it feels really awkward.  We’ll see what actual Teachers’ Day has in store for me (and the teachers’ office) tomorrow. I see 2-2 again, and last year they threw a party (my guess is simply to disrupt class), but that was when the English teacher was also their homeroom teacher. But even if everything goes sideways, this little giraffe is going up on my wall tonight, and that’ll be more than enough.

Ah, I was just called away for another early Teacher gift from a parent. Seaweed tteok. joy….

*고사리 (/goh-sah-ree/) is Korean for ‘bracken’, which happens to be my surname. It is now my Korean name/nickname, and I mentioned it to the students one time, so a LOT of my classes will now call me Gosari-teacher. I get a kick out of it, but it’s funnier for the Koreans I think, since they actually eat bracken ferns as part of their normal diet. Imagine if you knew someone called Tomato.

Zombie Lesson

As most people know, I’m a pretty big fan of apocalyptic horror games. So when I stumbled across a ‘zombie survival game’ lesson plan, I knew I had to find a way to sneak it in.

So we chatted a bit about ‘what are zombies’ and ‘what do they do’ and, hey, ‘what would happen if zombies were in Korea?’ As expected, I got a chorus of ‘kill kill’ and ‘zombie die teacha’ (with a few ‘teacha, fire in the hole!’s for good measure). The first thing we did after forming survival groups of 5 or 6 was to make a list of 16 items they would pack in a zombie survival kit.

A fair number of all-male groups had lists containing ‘sexy girl’ and ‘pretty girl’ and ‘cute girl’ (yes, all as separate items) for ‘teacha phone phone, wait… mo-rale!’
I have students packing rice, kimchi, ‘hamberger’, cola, and soju. I have a girls group packing extra shoes, clothes, TV, mirror, and their phones. Another group who can barely write their names with the Roman alphabet bringing a TRG-21, AK-47, K-1, K-2, M16, and ‘bowllets’.

In a different class, of a slightly higher English level, I had one group tell me they were bringing a helicopter, bunker, oilbank (gas station), airplane, tank, and brass knuckles. In case the zombies board or something…. I told them that they couldn’t bring those things since they couldn’t operate said vehicles, but I think next class I’ll just tell them they must change their list so that they can carry every item.

Oh hey, just saw this one- one of the groups said they would bring English teacher! Aww, bonus points, guys! Although I’m pretty sure their compassion ends there, as more than one group (I’ll admit, I didn’t expect this) listed one of their members as an ‘item’.
“Why is Hyeonmin on the list? He is group member.”
“Teacha, he (some random student) zombie, Hyeonmin push!”
“He will fight them, protect you…?”
“No no, we push Hyeonmin! uh, uh, Teacha phone. wait… ‘sacu-ri-fi-see’?”

My favorite though is this one group of students, who listed ‘be a zombie’ and crossed it out to say ‘zombie makeup’. At the bottom of their worksheet there’s space for them to pick four items and explain why they chose them. “Because we make up like zombie. and decive them. Zombie make up.” [sic] They went on to list ‘trade’ in their survival kit. Wondering what on earth they could be talking about (unless they were another sacrifices-at-the-ready group), and looking at their reason “Because we talk with zombie”, I asked them to explain.

“Teacha, we talk with zombie, and trade- buy, sell. They give we give, and peace! No fighting with zombie”

My students want to overcome the zombie apocalypse by opening up commerce and bringing industry to the infected….

AtM: Well that was… different….

Finals week! Not that that’s different, that part’s awesome. We get to go home early. Today was Gibuk day, which usually means that Math Teacher gives me a ride home and I don’t have to take the bus. Today, though, he was also transporting the 3 third graders (2 girls and a boy) to Pohang so they could go ‘study’ at the library (comic books and other novels- their tests are long since over, no way they were going to study). He dropped them off at the bus station. Which is right across from HomePlus. I had to buy a pepper, so I got off too.

They follow me into Homeplus, telling me they want to follow me. Ok, I’m fine with that. I’m just going to buy a pepper (soooo exciting), but they’re good kids, friendly, and this is Korea (MUCH more tolerant of being comfortable around strangers of a different age). So first was the funny.

We’re standing in front of the elevators in Homeplus, me asking them where they’re going (when the library is totally the opposite direction, not to mention not even in the building). In the middle of their explanation of ‘want to follow you’, this woman comes up, I think asking them about school or academy or something, I couldn’t quite catch it. Anyway, a couple sentences in, and my students suddenly look really embarrassed and apologetic, and the woman looks some form of unhappy as well. Thankfully I didn’t have too much time to panic that, hey, maybe people WILL freak out that there’s a foreigner and three middle school students. First (and this wasn’t what alleviated the panic) I hear one student go ‘아니요, 영어 선생님 입니다.’ (Of course, my grammar on that probably sucks, but what I heard was, in English, ‘no, she’s [the/our/a?] English teacher.’ So the woman first gets all flustered then starts apologizing like mad, I laugh, and then the students crack up. I was worried at first that she thought the whole deal was totally inappropriate and was about to bust on me for it, but turns out she thought that both I and my middle school students were all high school students hanging out for the afternoon (and looking for an academy? no thanks lady).

So she left, and I said, fine, follow me if you want, but I’m not doing anything exciting. I went upstairs to the grocery floor, bought two green peppers, some extra sausages for dinner tonight, and milk. Then they told me they wanted to see my home. Oooooooooook…… Well, I’ve heard of that, and I know for a fact they’ve hung out at other teachers’ homes before, so I was like, you know what? Why not. Come pop in, seeing as it’s only a couple blocks away and sort of on the way to the library anyway. I figured they could come in, look around all 10 square feet of the place, and ‘ok teacha, thank you! bye bye!’ and go ‘study’.

I’m pretty sure I caught a glimpse of life with a toddler. They opened every drawer and door in the kitchen (all 5 of them..), oohing and ahing at each one as if they were full of jewels and advanced technology instead of forks and pasta. Although, now that I think of it, forks and pasta are pretty revolutionary here… But really, how interesting can tupperware be?

They move from the hallway/kitchen into the real room, which serves as bedroom, living room, computer room, dining room, and pretty much all other rooms except bathroom. Poked around through everything. I told them about my pictures I have hanging up (“헐! (woah!) Teacha, America??” ‘ah, that one? That’s 안강.’ (a very small town between Gigye and Pohang.)) They looked through the couple books I have (‘Teacha! So much English!’), and I decided might as well have some fun with them. (And before your western minds think something terrible, NO THAT IS OF COURSE NOT WHAT I MEANT AT ALL!!) No, I introduced them to Set.

(If you have never played the game Set, you need to go find a deck. Now. Stop reading this, minimize facebook or your news/tech/whatever forum or any other open windows. Go find a game store, or a walmart even, and buy yourself a deck of Set. It will consume your mind.

Explanation of Set:
Basically, in this game there are four different categories: color, shading, shape, and number; with three possibilities to each (red/green/purple, outline/striped/solid, diamond/oval/squiggly, and one/two/three). There is one of each card, and you deal out a 3×4 square between whoever is playing (you can theoretically play with any number of people, but anymore than 6 and it gets a bit crowded). You must make a ‘Set’ by selecting three cards from the matrix whose categories, when put together, are EITHER all the same, or all different. So, among three cards, all same color, all same shape, all different shading, all different number. Or maybe they’re all the same color, shape, shading, and number. Or all different for the four categories. You can’t, for example, have one green card and two red. Anyway, this game drives people nuts, whether you’re just learning how to play, or it’s an old hat.)

I explain the game to them (and funnily enough, with so much less trouble than I usually have explaining it to native English speakers), and we start to play. They lost their minds and I had a laugh. After we finished the deck, they wanted me to show them something else. So I decided to show them a clapping/cup game that we’ll be playing for our Christmas party.

Well, 5 minutes into that, and there’s a knock on the door. Now, I’m not expecting my dinner guests for another 2 hours. So I go up to the door, ‘who is it?’ ‘[koreankoreankoreankorean]’ Two of my students come over to help me deal with this and I answer the door. I can tell the woman’s not happy. Guessing (and rightly so, my students told me after she left) the cup game noise was carrying down to the first floor (remember, we weren’t at a table). Turns out though, she also thought she’d drop a complaint about me being noisy in the early morning.

Now, not only am I a bit embarrassed that she would make a complaint like that in front of my students (it’s already REALLY weird that they’re in my home (from my western perspective), but now we have to touch a matter that feels even more personal and private? the early morning time?), but I was a bit perplexed.

I felt bad about the cup game thing (should’ve seen that coming, really), but what on earth do I do in the morning? Eat cereal? Change my clothes? Take a shower some mornings (usually a night thing for me)? Maybe it’s the brushing my hair? The reading my book? What on earth is it that’s so loud in the early morning? Actually, in the end I’m a bit grateful for that part, because instead of being embarrassed, I can focus on the being confused part.

And quite honestly, I’m still baffled. I didn’t even have cereal this morning. I had yogurt. How loud can yogurt possibly be?

AtM: pwnd…

Although it’s fading in both popularity and approval, corporal punishment remains popular in Korea. Some of the more common methods include making students stick their butts in the air with hands and feet on the ground (a la yoga), and making students kneel in the hallway (or sometimes the teachers’ room), maybe just the kneeling, perhaps holding their hands above their heads (more common for elem students) or writing an essay about why what they did was wrong (more common for high school students).  Caning (of various locations: hands, calves, butts) is also found, but more often you’ll see some shivering student out on the stone floor in the drafty, possibly wet, unheated hallways.

Today I came back from the middle school to drop my stuff off and go to lunch, and, lo and behold, there in front of the teachers’ office kneel 14 students. That’s  roughly half a class. I know these boys, as well. They’re fine students- a little chatty sometimes, but I’ve never had any serious problems with them. Yea, they get distracted, but they have good attitudes and they’re respectful. I walk down the line quietly (terrified whatever teacher punished them will come out and catch me talking to them), down to the last student, who has the best English (and therefore can handle a quiet, whispering conversation).

Having entered stage right:
What on earth did you boys do???

Oh teacha, [he’s smiling,] talking. hehe *gestures* [background conversation sound effects]

Talking? Just talking? Why ALL of you? My goodness…

Oh, teacha, you know *gives me this look that says ‘you know how teacha is’ although I have no idea which teacher* Hey, hey teacha- repeat after me!

What?

Repeat after me. *holds up fingers* One.

One?

*holds up another finger* Two.

Two, ok…

*another finger* Three.

Three…

*another finger* Four.

Four…

Next.

Five….

heeheeheehahaha *snicker* *stifles snicker in his puffy jacket*

…..

Teacha, ‘next’. Repeat after me! ha ha ha ha!

*facepalm*

 

Epilogue: one of the boys a few students down grabbed me as I retreated, thoroughly failed, ‘hey, teacha, door please.’  “what?”  ‘door please. I very cold!’ While caning students is obtrusively violent, I couldn’t help but think that it was almost crueler to leave them in their thin pants, kneeling on the hard floor like that. It’s pretty darn chilly today, and it’s been drizzling for the past 24 hours. The floors are wet from students coming in or  mopping, the hallway windows are always open, and doors (nor windows) have proper insulation. But I guess it looks less malicious… In any case, I duly went in a different door than normal, and against my usual pet peeve, left the thing thoroughly cracked, so the students could catch some hope at warm air.

AtM: Offensive Name-calling

Anybody who I regularly talk to (so like, 3 people,  in 3 very different time zones) will be asking themselves: ‘Offensive name-calling? But she’s writing on Wednesday. Wednesdays are her Gibuk days, and those are her awesome students, right?’
Yes indeed they are, still all of them, and they have not become un-awesome. It is I, in fact, that have perpetrated such a terrible violation of human rights.

(And to be clear, this was all pretty funny cause the kid’s a good student with a good attitude- God bless these students for understanding (and implementing, at times) dry humor. Most Koreans don’t get it. Maybe that’s why I love Gibuk…)

The name of the student who transferred in at the end of last semester is romanized Dan Hyeongjin. So, likely needless to say, when I read it, I immediately thought, ‘Oh, ‘Dan’. Haha, I have a Korean Daniel. He’s got a ready-made English name, cool.’ and have thusly thought of him as ‘Dan’ ever since. Now, keep in mind, in English, it’s /dæn/ (probably what you’re thinking of right now) as opposed to the Korean vowel sound of 아, /dan/ (dahn). I don’t often have a need to address the students by name since there are so few, but I’ve been meaning to ask him how he prefers to be called. So just now, after returning first grade’s diary, I stop in the 3-1 classroom and tell my little story about how in English we have a common name, Daniel, also commonly shortened to ‘Dan’.

Well. Well, well, well. Apparently this was highly, thoroughly unacceptable. The girls started laughing, and he refused to look at me, instead staring a hole into the letter he was writing (all the students are writing thank you letters to their tele-NET*s), pen digging a bit deeper into the paper than necessary.

“So, I wanted to ask you, what do you prefer to be called?”

*looks up*
*stares straight at me*
형진. (Hyeongjin)

Ooook. Heh, so ‘Dan’ is not ok then?

*stares* Yes.

Dan is ok or Dan is not ok?

형진.

Alllllrighty, Hyeongjin it is then.

Teacher, *holds up finished letter* please make right.

Well gee, thanks kid. No idea you were so sensitive about your name, then you’re all, ‘oh and please correct this for me.’ Anyway, I get back to my desk, get out my correcting pen of the day (orange), and read:

Dear Elieza teacher.
Hello teacher. I’m Dan. —

Kid’s got some ‘splaining to do next break period…

—————————————————————————–

I walked in the room, and as they rushed out, I read the first few lines with flourish, highlighting the ‘I’m Dan’ part. The girls laughed, he flushed, and told me that yes, he was indeed English ‘Dan’ with his tele-teacher. I guess when I explained ‘Daniel’ to him, all they knew was ‘Danielle’, and he thought I was calling him a girl?? That’s the only logical rationale I see. But since when are Korean kids rational? He was very evasive about the whole thing. It could just be he’s a ninja in training and I was on to his codename. That’s the next most logical rationale.

*NET = Native English Teacher

for those of you who didn’t know.